Going Where Fear Is

Home: Where there is fear, there is also so much love!

I've been afraid most of my life. When I was young I was afraid of the dark. As I grew older, my fear evolved into an existential fear - I was afraid that I was not living the life that I am supposed to live.

Fear has influenced my life in many ways. It has shaped my intrapersonal (with myself) and interpersonal (with others) relationships. I could even say that at times, it has even taken on a life of its own. Fear has made decisions for me and has acted for me because of its power to dictate my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

The practices of Mindfulness Meditation and Loving Kindness Meditation has helped me to sit with fear.  I have been able to experience the bodily sensations of fear and not run from them. I've noticed that fear causes a quickening of my heartbeat and a shortening of my breath. I feel like I am suffocating when I am afraid. I used to rely on crying to help me release from that state, but now, I use a skill from Mindfulness Mediation. I follow the rise and fall of the breath to help calm me down and leave the place of fear.

Mindfulness Meditation has also allowed me to see my emotions objectively. I can better identify the sensations of fears and step away from thinking that I am the fear or the fear is me. I can see that I have been conditioned to fear and habituated to the feeling fear. Fear has been a familiar sensation for me for many, many years and this habit of living in fear needs to be broken!

Loving Kindess is an amazing practice to break free from fear. In the meditation, you cultivate a sense of warmth in your chest, by envisioning a sun glowing in your heart. The warm feeling spreads through your body  until you are surrounded by light. I describe my experience as being held in the light, like a mother holding her child. In this state, any fearful thought or sensation evaporates in the light. It is a wonderful practice - and it can be used anywhere at anytime!

Moving back home has provided me with ample opportunities to face my fears. With the practice of Loving Kindness Meditation, I have been able to stand my ground when I get scared. For example, I have been meeting many people from my past. When I first see them, I think "oh, man, the last time we met I was a total (fill in the blank)." Ha! And that is an excellent opportunity for LovingKindness! By feeling the sun in my heart, the negative thought leaves, and a smile appears. At this point, more space has been created to experience the present moment with the person instead of holding on to the distortion of the past. And what do you know? Most of the time we share in a pleasant and even heart felt encounter.

I am learning that where there is fear, there is also so much love!

Namaste*

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

GREEN JUICE FOR HEALTH

Image
Green Juice for Health Simple veggie juices packed with the nutrients you need to live well. Lately, I have been drinking a lot of Green Juices. They are easy to make and VERY delicious. Drinking vegetables is a great way for the body to absorb nutrients. Making your own green juices is much more cost effective than buying them at Whole Foods for $6 or more. Instead, you can spend your hard earned money on a bunch of Chard, a coconut water, an apple, and a lemon  - and wa-lah! you've got yourself some homemade juice.  When I first began my juicing journey, I tried to put too many fruits and vegetables together. Even though EACH ingredient was tasty, when I combined ALL off them the taste was ... well, bad.  The key to creating a delicious health drink is to keep it simple! I use 5 ingredients or less in mine. Here are two of my favorite green juices. And remember, I encourage you to try different variations to make these drinks your own! Clean Green   What You&
Read more

LIFE'S TEACHINGS AND MY BIKE

Image
A lesson on  Allowing. I finally fixed my bike! It had been a big "to do" for me for many months. The bike is my grandpa's. It is old (I found out that the brand of bike no longer exists, and some parts will have to be special ordered) but in great condition. I was able to put off the project for such a long time because I had many excuses . . . and a car! The biggest reason why I hadn't started the project was that I told myself "I didn't have time" for it. Finally, on this past Saturday, different factors aligned so that I could finally fix my bike. It was a beautiful day, I felt energized, and I had one less commitment and therefore a window of time to dedicate towards the project. My bike went from being another "to do" in the back of my mind to being my top priority. I had so much fun fixing my bike !! at The Bicycle Works, a bike co-op in San Anselmo. It is a very welcoming environment with lots of creative energy and fun people.
Read more

EATING FOR ENERGY

Image
Raw Energy Bliss Balls  With Spring approaching, I anticipate that I will need more energy for the longer days.  My schedule is hectic and my days long and I don't see an end in sight! And I am grateful for this! Between teaching private and public yoga classes, giving Reiki treatments, coaching softball, working at a gym, working at a yoga studio, and working at a bakery and completing nutrition school - I need to Eat for Energy! I try to always find time in the day to be in the kitchen, but with some 12+ hour days, I need to have something healthy already prepared to eat! These Raw Energy Bliss Balls are just the thing that give me a boost! They are easy to make and delicious. My friend gave me a recipe and I have modified it to fit my taste. I encourage you to try this recipe and then create your own! What you'll need: 2 cups raw cashew pieces 3 tablespoons sunflower seed oil (or vegetable oil) 1/2 cup raw pumpkin seeds 1/2 cup gluten free oats 1/4
Read more